Have you ever wished you could delete a moment or an entire day from your life?
Today was one of those days for me…and quite honestly, I have had my share of delete-able days in the past month or so.
While praying (or complaining, however you want to see it) to the Lord about my day, recanting the obscure details that triggered esoteric emotions, which lead to my smashing request, I realized that these not-so-good days still hold lots of good. It’s just like God to crash my pity party and remind me of thankfulness, peace, joy, hope and all of the emotions that still felt so far from me. Though I didn’t begin to feel any of those things, I began to meditate on the strength building inside of me as I released every tear that expressed my hurt. I soon began to reflect on how this moment, overall, was making me a “better person.” To be honest, my first reaction to that thought was: “I don’t WANT to be a BETTER PERSON!” Who does when a raging sea of emotions is high tide in your heart? How can anyone think clearly when you’re drowning in feelings?
And that is the beauty of maturity; it is the ability to do (and think) the right thing regardless of how a situation makes you feel. (I’m still working on this. You may be too. It’s okay. You’re not alone. Believe me.)
I wonder how Joseph felt while imprisoned and abandoned for years for a crime he really didn’t commit. How did Moses feel when he came down the mountain from an intimate conversation with God only to be betrayed by the very people God used him to help save from captivity? Where was Abraham’s heart when God asked him to sacrifice the “promise” child?
In every hard time, in every critical moment, God is at work. As pressure transforms coal into a stunning diamond, so it is used to transform our coarse character. God never promised that life would be easy or fair at all times. Along with the moments of victory come moments of defeat and while we know God holds the overall victory, the sometimes small moments of defeat are hard to face –which inevitably leads to raging emotions inside our hearts and, what I like to call, cry-fests.
My biggest advice to give you is…release. Cry it out, get it out of your system and release, and then refocus. Remember there are things about our character that we need to allow God to work on and change for our own benefit: to grow in faith, to learn to obey, to practice patience, etc. These moments are a part of our PROCESS, and it is in these times that our “true colors” aka- FLAWS come to light. These moments force us to take a good look in the mirror and have a moment of introspection. We can let it make us bitter, or we can let it make us better.
In the grand scheme of things, Joseph’s character was being refined to prepare him to be the leader that would eventually help save his people at a critical time in history. Abraham didn’t allow his feelings to stop his obedience or stir his faith when God asked him to sacrifice his “promise” child, whom we know today was the beginning of the fulfillment of God’s promise on Abraham’s seed. On the other hand, after lots of process, Moses still allowed his emotions get the best of him – and acting out of anger, he disobeyed God, prohibiting him from entering the promise land.
Will we allow the 'bad' moments of today produce good moments tomorrow?
That solely depends on how we decide to take our next steps.